The Intimacy Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA visit site or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to very tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, nearness, wellness, and love .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize additional hints by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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