The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to very tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, well-being, love, and nearness .

However when issues occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that a lot of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When click for info the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, goals, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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