The Sex Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to extremely tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin read more (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, love, and nearness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They probably would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that many of his clients have fallen into like this the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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