The Sexuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, well-being, closeness, and love .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach weblink who works mainly with gay guys, states that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in metropolitan areas, sex This Site is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable this relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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